Tell your own fashion story
Recently Tom Ford said in an interview, that he prefers celebrities without a stylist, over the those with. They are bolder, he says, they take higher risks and it’s them, their personality and what they truly stand for what you can observe, when looking at the way they dress for a big event - not their stylist.
Why are we so afraid to take risks, especially when it comes to fashion?
What do we allow ourselves, when seeking to stand out, and is being standardized really the solution, or a curse?
Red carpets, extravagant styles, looks so loud, one can hardly oversee them. Golden nipple presenting corsets, latex suits that leave no room for imagination and where once various shapes of décolletés set the fine lines of a woman’s chest in scene, giant necklace trees replace the fabric.
But is it really the celebrities’ intention to reveal this much of their most private parts? Or are we witnessing the uncovered truth of pushy mass marketing using our wish to belong and be seen?
Fashion is a language. A very vivid, obvious, and rudimental one. Yet its subtlety is undeniable. When we get up to dress in the morning, we not only show our choice for the day and our reactions to weather and circumstances, but we also display a little bit of everything, a little bit of who we really are.
We show things like: Who we admire, what we love, how we feel, when we were raised, how we see ourselves, what we want to be perceived as, our securities and insecurities, our intro- and extroversions, our longings, and our belongings!
Like any language it can be used to speak love and it can be used to manipulate. When looking at stylists, often cases they have deals with companies who wish to sell their products to brider audiences and grow their influence. Fair thing. But are we truly aware of this concept deep in our hearts, or do we just ‘know’ about it?
What seems so ‘different’ follows a precise plan of sewing need and creating longings, we did not know we had.
A lot can be read from how someone shows up for a meeting, a date, and a casual dinner. But the more unconscious messaging lies within a conscious choice, the more insecurities arise within – especially ever since we are being made aware of the fact, that our subconscious mind rules most of our decisions in life.
The roaming trend of ‘reading’ the human mind, to make better use of it, can be witnessed ever since the late seventies, when books and discussions took on the topic of what is a target audience and how to reach it best.
As individuals our main goal is human connection, since without we simply cease to exist. Connection in general is easiest found through common goals, ideals, values and looks. Studies show, the more we are alike, the easier it is to connect.
Through knowing the tricks of the mind and being able to read the other person better, we are taught to adapt easier, hoping to score that dream job, find love, get elevated in our social status and get to be seen as more special than others, hence becoming the central point of connection, rather than having to ask for it.
As for companies, the idea is a different one and uniquely simple as it is effective. Whenever we get offered something for free, we are the product.
I’ll elaborate on this. The more privacy we reveal, the more that company knows about our personalities, the better it can detect weaknesses. That knowledge is the entry gateway to feeding a need, that is necessary to have, so they can offer a product or service which will cover or erase our weakness – True to the motto ‘The strong survive.’ And the strong are those everyone wants to be around…. don’t they?
When we are offered something for free, they mine on what we give in return. Insights.
Weaknesses nowadays are detected by so called citizen data scientists - a new line of job which is in high demand – they analyze, categorize, and create a consumable solution for our weakness. Covered by the company’s products.
Even though, it is a game of make-believe, that once we got their product, we will inevitably feel better about ourselves, and get that dream job, that amazing group of friends, that partner, we fall for it. Because we are feeling, living, connecting beings.
We all know the phenomena of feeling bad about ourselves, going online, shopping, feeling better and woosh feeling worse again. Some of it is us, most of it is an industry using us against us.
A strong and self-worthy personality will want things, but not need them. An insecure personality will find easy attachment within small rewards, knowingly making the gap between self-worth and self-shaming bigger and bigger.
Now what has this got to do with clothing and Tom Ford? A lot. Next time you get dressed, try to investigate the mirror, and see the human you are. That person beyond the standardized idea they created for us to fall into the trap of having to meet that standard, other how we won’t be loved for who we are.
Let me tell you one thing. All over the world standards differ. And so do we. And just because someone says in your part of the world, you must be loud to be seen, or nude to stand out, or cool to be taken seriously, dress this or that way, one thing is for certain: what we connect to most of all, is honest and love driven authenticity, because this is where our true values are born.
And when we show ourselves for who we really are and what we really care for, yes, we take the risk of being judged by the general standard, and yes even more, we allow the beauty of meeting those who truly see us for who we are and those will be the kind of connection you never have to chase again.
Get up. Dress up. And tell YOUR STORY.